Friday Pillow Talk – Kohlrabi From Outer Space

I have a friend; we’ll call him Jaxon.  (It sounds like that Johnny Cash song, “Jackson” except with an “X.”)  He called me this week to tell me he’s been on a “raw food diet” for the last five days and he reported the most phenomenal results.  Veggie smoothies have led to miraculous things like mental clarity, boundless energy, and womb-like sleep.  The mention of peaceful sleep perked me up a bit and I wanted to know more, since I hadn’t slept peacefully since I was under anesthesia in 2009.

He said he’s been falling into a deep and restful 8 hour sleep (“like a baby”) with the only oddity being he experiences a slight and brief heart palpitation when his alarm goes off in the morning.  He asked me what I thought might be causing this and I reminded him that I was not a doctor, but perhaps his electrolytes were off from the cleansing power of all those vegetables.  I asked him for some more details about his regimen and he mentioned things like wheat grass, soaked nuts, and camu powder.

“Camu powder?” I asked.

“It’s an anti-oxidant; it has more vitamin C than the state of Florida,” he said.

“You’re not taking it before bed, are you?” I asked.

“No, never later than 3:00 p.m.”

“OK, but you’re sleeping soundly.  Are you having any dreams?”

He thought for a minute and said “Well, a couple of nights ago, I had a dream that a space ship landed in the front yard of my condo.  You know how it is in dreams, though.  It was a space ship but it looked more like a Ford Pinto.  Anyway, the passenger door of the Space Pinto opened and this creature got out.  Now that I think about it, the dream was weird.”

“What did the creature look like?”

“It was sort of like an upside down water tower, but with really long legs.  Maybe 7 or 8 of them.  Some of the legs had ruffles on them.”

“Ruffles?” I asked.

“Yeah, ruffles.  Bizarro, huh?”

We laughed.

Jaxon didn’t seem too worried, so we chatted a bit more about goji berries, acai, and coconut water and then hung up.

As is my usual Thursday night routine, I brought my Johnny’s Selected Seeds catalogue to bed with me.  I was thinking about one of the vegetables I bought last week and whether I could grow it in the Victory Garden.  I flipped to page 50 and staring at me was what looked like an upside down water tower with long, ruffled legs.

Could this be Kohlrabi from Outer Space?

I’m not sure a raw food diet is for me, but kohlrabi is delicious.  Some people like it raw and some people like it cooked.  And it looks like a crazy, space alien!  I wonder if Jaxon slipped some into his Vitamix blender with a little too much Camu powder?

Gotcha, Jaxon!

Have you ever grown Kohlrabi?  Do you dream of Ford Pintos and upside down water towers with ruffled legs?

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