The Long Distance Spectacle

As some blog readers might recall from yesterday’s post, SK and I went to Gillette Stadium last night to watch the New England Patriots defeat the New York Giants, 28 – 20.  The stadium is equidistant from Boston and Providence, about twenty miles one way or the other.  The distance from my starting point, Portsmouth, NH, is ninety three miles.

It’s a long haul, but the prospect of seeing some of my favorite Patriots up close was irresistible.  Would Tom Brady play?  Would Bill Belichick be wearing his trademark hoodie and pushing his bangs out of his eyes?

SK comes from a different part of New Hampshire, so we found an intersection on the highway, about halfway to the stadium, and carpooled.  SK is an excellent driver and good company.  It was all football talk until we got to Foxboro and parked in one of the many “pop up parking lots” that surround Gillette.  We put in a mile of walking and arrived at our destination.  While we had both been to the stadium for other events, neither of us had been there for a Patriots’ game and I was overwhelmed by the spectacle.

We were wanded at the gate and our NFL-approved plastic bags examined.  We cleared security and began the march around the stadium.  There are giant televisions, loud music, and hawkers selling $11 cans of Corona.  Our seats were very good (thanks, Slim) and we were able to hang around field side while both teams practiced.

Tom Brady’s dimple and dreamy new haircut appeared on the Jumbo-tron and SK whistled “Holy Hotness.”

It’s true, he looked great.

I was distracted by the spectacle, especially The End Zone Militia.  These Revolutionary War re-enactors fire off their muskets at different points in the game, including every time the Patriots score.  One member, the leader, looked a little bit like images I’ve seen of Samuel Adams.  I wonder how they got those muskets to fit in their 12” by 12” by 6” clear plastic bags?

Once the game started, SK was focused on the action and made intelligent and strategic football remarks.  I vacillated between Revolutionary War thoughts and absolutely absurd comments like “Wow, Ryan Mallett is really tall” and “Tim Tebow is short.”

My recurrent Rainman comment was “I really like Bill Belichick’s short hair this season.”

I think I was overstimulated by my four dollar M&M’s.

We snuck out a little early, to beat traffic.  Reggie Black called and we put him on speakerphone for his Tim Tebow Discourse.  He didn’t mention Bill Belichick’s haircut and neither did I.

Going to a New England Patriots game was a fascinating long distance spectacle; it was exciting and energizing.  Who will make the final roster?  The announcement is imminent.

I probably won’t be going to any regular season games this year.  It will be Herman the German and me watching from the Motel Four Tee Vee.  I need to improve my football chat, though, because I don’t think Herman really cares about Bill Belichick’s new haircut.

Good luck, Tim Tebow.  I’m rooting for you.

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2 Responses to The Long Distance Spectacle

  1. Loosehead Prop says:

    JEEBUS, those guys had GUNS! LONG RIFLES! ASSAULT WEAPONS! They are wearing black and concealing their faces! Are you crazy? Didn’t you feel UNSAFE? That’s hardly the 100% security our overlords promise in return for our complete loss of privacy. They could have shot you! Massachusetts needs to “shelter in place” right now and nobody should come out, nobody should go to the grocery, nobody should go to work until these dangerous threats are apprehended by policemen wearing more military weaponry than we entered Iraq with.

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