Last Friday, I celebrated a birthday. It was a gorgeous day; the weather was beautiful and I received many, many wishes and greetings by every invented method of communication. Alan, Gina, Handy, and my brother Jim even stopped by with presents. (Did I forget anyone?) My mother, my forever patron Saint Helen, invited me for dinner and cake. (Did I ever tell you about the time she tried to serve me a store-bought birthday cake? No? A story for another day.) Slipper Sistah stopped by while I was there and asked my mother probing questions about my first days and months in this world.
I was shocked to learn that I was a “whiny baby.”
Following this revelation, I formally interviewed my mother. Here is a transcription of our interview, to set the record straight.
JAB: Tell me a little bit more about when I was a baby. Would I sleep well at night?
Helen: No, you didn’t. You were such a good baby during the day. You would sleep all day. Then, come night time, you’d go (insert the sound of “boo hoo” similar to a small dog howling here).
JAB: So you’re saying I was a whiny baby?
Helen: Very whiny.
Slipper (in the background): We’ve got a witness to that.
JAB: (Laughing) OK, OK, then you’d get up and give me a bottle? And I’d go back to sleep?
Helen: Yes, and no sooner would you be falling asleep, we’d go back to our bed. And the whining would start again, (insert the sound of “boo hoo” similar to a small dog howling here).
There you have it. I was a whiny baby.
The interview continued with information about me trying to run away while Helen was hanging laundry, but that is another story for another day. More interviews will be required, as it seems I had an accomplice.
In 2012, I wrote a blog post about whining. It was called “Whining Baby Bucket” and it was about whining and gratitude, more or less. You can read it here.
I sure hope I’m not a whiny baby any more. I know I don’t make “boo hoo” noises similar to a small dog howling, but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of whining. The 2012 blog evidence shows I was guilty of it at least three years ago. I’ll need to remain vigilant about whining and “boo hoo’ing” and howling like a little dog.
Keep me honest, ok?
And for God’s sake, stop whining!