Dinner Plate Dahlias

My mother and I took a trip up to the Aubuchon this weekend; we were looking for a spring rod so I could hang a curtain.  We got some fine service while we were there, too.  I don’t think there had been many female clients that afternoon.

When we got to my new home, we hung the curtain and then we split a Limonata.  It’s funny how my mother intuitively knows when I’m upset or anxious.  I was greatly disturbed by the number of dishes I had to put away.  I pointed out the boxes that were full of neatly wrapped glasses, cups, saucers, and serving pieces.  I don’t know why I was overwhelmed; they had all had a place at The Coop and I had fewer cupboards there than I do now.

I was glad my mother was visiting because it kept me from confronting the dishes.

My mother said “do you want me to help you put some of your dishes away?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.  I can do it later.”

I was taking the Scarlett O’Hara approach, thinking about it tomorrow.

Later is not in Helen’s vocabulary.  She didn’t give me the trademark “she who hesitates is lost,” though.  She used a different strategy.

“We could just unwrap a few dishes, one at a time.”

I didn’t realize it, but Helen was using the old Abominable Snowman technique on me, suggesting I put “one foot in front of the other.”

“Okay.”

We got up and started working on a box of glasses.

Before we knew it, the box was empty.

“Do you want to do another box?” Helen asked?

“Okay.”

We put away every dish that was in a box or on the kitchen counter.

Helen looked at her watch and said she had to go home.  She gave me a big hug and encouraged me to take it one thing at a time; she said there was no hurry to unpack everything today.  A little today and little tomorrow and soon everything would be in its place.

Then a semi-serious look came over her face.

“You don’t need one more dish or dinner plate, though.”

Gulp.  How about a dinner plate dahlia?

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Peace Somewhere

It’s peaceful in the woods at dusk.

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It’s a good place to stop and rest.

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Caffé with Reggie

(Today’s post is a guest post by Reggie Black.  Thanks, Reggie, for helping me keep the blog going during “moving week” and teaching readers a few things about America’s drug of choice.  Enjoy reading this with a morning cuppa cawfee.  Julie-Ann)

I don’t know why America has no real coffee.  There are endless coffee shops, coffee snobs, roasters, grinders.  There’s no caffé, though.  I miss it.

I’ve made coffee many ways over the years, having first learned the Cuban style from a friend, and ran an espresso machine for a decade and a half.  In Italy, the electricity was so unreliable that I finally retired it in favor of the stove top coffee maker.

That I had an espresso machine at all was odd to my Italian neighbors.  After all, I lived above a bar, and in Italy bars are all about caffé, and caffé is all about being social.  As an American, I was distinctly odd for making my coffee in my own kitchen rather than going to the bar to get it.

For Italian men, breakfast at the bar is very common, usually caffé and a cornetto, rarely more than euro 1.25.  Cappuccino is served until noon, but it’s unusual after that.  Latte (coffee with milk, not the milk with coffee that Americans call latte) is served all day, but the caffé of choice is espresso, sometimes espresso macchiato (espresso with a stain of milk).

There’s also caffé Americano, a double espresso watered down to fill a whole cup.  Consumed only by Americans, for whom quantity is everything.  Standing at the bar, cleansing the palate with the glass of water that comes with the cafe, savoring its richness sip by sip the small cafe tasse, that is the prize.  Not watering it down into a Styrofoam cup and running off to some desk with it.

No one drinks caffé alone.  It’s uncivil.  When I came home from work my landlord and his brothers, cousins and friends would be sitting outside the bar, talking.  The hands would beckon, come join us, have a caffé.  What little Italian I learned, I learned sitting with them there.  The world waits, dinner will come in due time.

When my landlord, who was a friend and a guide as well, wanted to talk to me, he would ask me to the bar for a caffé.  Enzo, the auto mechanic with the uncannily clean shop, would always walk me up the street to the bar for a cafe before we talked about the car.  Enzo also gave me bottles of his delightful homemade limoncello.  Southern Italians are a very generous people.  They don’t have much, but they want you to taste the best of it.

I worked with Americans several floors underground, one who bought property in Italy and has now retired there, the other whose parents came from the heart of Naples and who was fluent in both worlds.  Our day started early in the dark, but we always broke off from everything around 9:30 and climbed up and outside for caffé.  We patronized the outside stand when weather allowed, but there was an enclosed bar on base, too.  On occasion we drove off base to other local bars just for variety.  For a half hour we didn’t talk work, we just appreciated the espresso and sunshine and cleared our heads.

After I left Italy I did my best to carry on, but overcast, chilly, wet England is not conducive to caffé.  I did my best with an electric coffee maker, a plug-in version of the stove top coffee maker.  Every afternoon about two, I broke from work, prepared the caffé, and then poured it for Borut, my Slovenian friend.  We talked about anything but work, and spent fifteen minutes clearing our heads and learning about Americans or Slovenians.

My Spanish and Portuguese friends always had their coffee together in the morning, and my French colleague with his French compatriots.  The Americans went and got their trademarked coffee at the base sandwich shop.

Coffee is about being social.  There simply is no American parallel to that.  I still enjoy the ritual of preparing the pot and making the coffee, but there is no one to share it with now.

On one of my guitar cases there is a sticker with a wide-eyed shock-haired man holding a large cup, declaring “Coffee is my drug of choice.”

I find that sticker so true, and so sad.  Here we treat coffee as a drug, as a pick-me-up, as a stimulant, as a tool to keep us hustling, hustling, hustling.  Coffee shops, in addition to not knowing how to make it (for laughs, I ask the “barista” to make me an espresso macchiato), have drive-throughs so you don’t even have to get out of the SUV to get a half-gallon of it.

I keep making the caffé, but without the friends to sit and share it with, it’s not the same.

I miss caffé.

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The Coop Redux

The Coop sale was imminent; I was preparing for the new owners. Mary and Dave, who I like to refer to as “M&D,” might not want to call their new home a “chicken coop-sized condo.” It was all fun and games when I was lady alone traveler and farm girl wannabe.

Out of respect for M&D, I started calling it “the seaside condo.” The “surf side residence” was nice, too.

Imagine my surprise when M&D started moving in a few of their boxes.

Viva La Coop!

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Throwback Moving Tips

One of my least-favorite concepts is “multi-tasking.” I’ll leave discourse about the brain’s ability to walk and chew gum at the same time to Reggie Black; I don’t think it’s possible to do more than one thing at once. Sure, I can talk on the telephone and document the conversation with pen and paper, but when I layer in calculating the square footage of a few rows of garlic, things get dangerously confused.

“Multi-tasking” is the scourge of my existence and it may very well account for the downfall of the post-modern world. I will attempt it if I must, but deep down inside, I am at war with this idea of doing twenty things at the same time. I’m just a throwback, searching for order in a disorderly world.

Moving out of a residence I occupied for almost fifteen years has been my latest attempt at multi-tasking. I’m not sure if I’ve done it well, but I did make a few decisions along the way that served me until the very end. Like the Apocalypse I so cavalierly mention from time to time, things are chaotic right now, but it was smooth sailing for most of the adventure.

Here are a few of the things I suggest for throwbacks who are considering uprooting their lives:

Start moving months before relocating.
Blog readers may recall I got serious about moving back in February when I rented a storage space in my relocation destination. Moving was just a fun game nine months ago and each trip to the storage space was one laughing step along the thousand mile journey.

The storage space is paid through October 31. Tick tock.

Rent or purchase a replacement home ahead of time
Having two or three places to sleep at night is always a good thing. If the post-modern world requires me to multi-task, I’m also going to multi-bed. Not only did I have the benefit of a storage space, but for the last two months I’ve been moving into my new home. Even though things are out of order and upsetting for my Type A brain, all my stuff has been gradually transported and things are generally in place. If I get tired, I can just take a nap.

Take off time from work during the relocation week.
Like a politician, do as I say, not as I do. If I had to do this whole thing over again, I would have taken a week or two off from The Big Corporation to finalize all the little details of life. A failure of post-modern living is the habit of underestimating the amount of time it takes to do things adequately. For a throwback like me, anything worth doing is worth doing well. Yes, this type of perfection leads to problems, but I am my mother’s daughter.

That’s all I’ve got to say about moving today. We live in a crazy mixed-up world of motion and chaos. I don’t care for such madness; a kind Providence helped me to do a few things reasonably well on this journey. A few kind friends helped out too, but that’s a story for another day.

It’s almost “Pleasant Street” again in my life. Now, where is my wide-tooth comb?

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Helen-istic

My mother is practically perfect.  If I read this blog post to her, she’ll laugh and then she’ll say “don’t write that.  People in town will think it’s true.”  It is true; she’s almost perfect.  I’m convinced that the key to her perfection is a handful of lines she keeps running in the back of her brain.  She taught them to me when I was little and they pop into my ear at the most unlikely times in my life.

For instance, when I’m rushing around, trying to get something done, I can hear her saying “haste makes waste.”  Haste has certainly produced some rotten fruit in my life.

Sometimes, these Helen-isms are lines from songs.  Been jilted?  Got a broken heart?  “Smile, when your heart is aching, smile when your heart is breaking…”

This morning, I woke up a little tired and stiff.  I’m thinking of a line I wrote back in 1987 in a post-college journal.

“All I wanted to do that summer was lie in bed and eat Cheez-its.”

There’s a lot going on this week and I’m all out of sorts.  My internet connection is all messed up.  I contemplated posting a “I’ll be back” sign on the blog while I manage the transitions of the week.  I don’t like it when other bloggers do that, though, and Helen’s response to this would probably be “the show must go on.”

Yep, the show must go on.

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Such Sweet Sorrow

Let’s see. A long post about the accumulation of stuff or a farewell to a favorite summer place?

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Today is the last day of The Dairy Maid for the season.

Sweetness and sorrow.

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Taken in by Sham

It’s the final push of moving here at the condominium.  My good friend Jaxon will come tonight to help me move ten big pieces into a U-Haul.  I’ll strip the sheets and blankets off my bed this morning and fold them up neatly.  There are no rugs and dishes left to move, just big things.  There are almost no pictures on the walls, either.  By rights, I should be packing and cleaning instead of blogging.

This is the last picture.

I’ve had it near my phone as long as I’ve lived here.  When I took the picture off the wall last night around ten o’clock, I unplugged my phone and thought I might pack it, too.  Poor Reggie Black…he kept trying to call me on my house phone and I kept e-mailing him asking him why he hadn’t called.  I didn’t hear the phone ring because it was unplugged.

I was stoopid with moving fatigue.  Reggie knows my faults; I hope he doesn’t give a damn.

I’ve written about this before, but when I was growing up in Lisbon Falls, my relatives lived close by and I saw them every day.  They were all “9-1-1 close.”  I could run to their houses faster than an ambulance could get there.  Two houses separated our house from my Uncle Richie’s house and I visited often.  They had an old black phone hanging on the wall in the hall and above it hung a framed picture just like mine.  That’s why I bought this one at an antique shop years later; I liked the sentiment and when I answered the phone I would think of Uncle Richie and Aunt Jo.

Richie’s phone number was 353-8978, but why would I call their house on the phone if I could walk over?

My uncle was the town barber.  His shop, Baumer’s Barber Shop, was on Main Street for many years, at least from the time I was born until Richie retired.  Another barber worked in the space for a few years until Dr. Mike expanded Mario’s Restaurant into Dr. Mike’s Madness Café.  The barber shop was a man’s place and I might stop in and say “hello” to my uncle, but I didn’t stay long enough to have more memories than the smell of hair tonic and cigarette smoke.  Stephen King must have gotten his hair cut there because he remembered different things about my uncle in one of his books.

Mr. King doesn’t need my help to promote his books.

How is it that two people can remember the same person so differently?  What do we do with all of these memories?

In the course of sifting through old papers, I also found a letter my cousin (Richie’s daughter, Beth) wrote to me in 1993.  It was touching; we had had a correspondence when I was in college and she was still in high school.  Her note began:

“I was cleaning out boxes under my bed and I found some of the letters you wrote me while you were at Orono.  I am such a pack rat.  I just wanted you to know how much it meant to me to receive them…you always gave a fresh perspective and were always encouraging me to strive.  Thank you.”

I’ve decided I’m going to give the picture to my cousin.  This weekend, I’m going to take a break and write a letter to her, just like I used to do when I was in college.  She’s all grown up now and is married with two young sons.  She lives a few towns away from Lisbon Falls and I’ve seen her at Moxie Festival parades from time to time.  She has Uncle Bob over for Thanksgiving dinner every year.

It’s been a long time since we’ve talked about anything of consequence; maybe she’ll think I’m a sham after all these years.  There are a lot of shams in our world today.

But family and friends…aren’t they more important than Tee Vee characters and electronic devices?  Maybe tending to our families and our friends is the important thing, keeping them close and forgiving their faults.

I am a faulty work in progress.  Forgive me.

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Half-a-Burger

Sometimes, even plastic hamburgers look good.

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Half a burger is better than none, as long as it’s grass-fed.

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Not Quite Manderley

“Last night I dreamt I went to Manderly again…Scattered here and again amidst this jungle growth I would recognize shrubs that had been land-marks in our time, things of culture and of grace, hydrangeas whose blue heads had been famous.  No hand had checked their progress, and they had gone native now, rearing to monster height without a bloom, black and ugly as the nameless parasites that grew beside them.”

and

“A lilac had mated with a copper beech, and to bind them yet more closely to one another the malevolent ivy, always an enemy to grace, had thrown her tendrils about the pair and made them prisoners.”

This is part of the opening pages of Daphne Du Maurier’s novel, Rebecca.  For non-readers, there is a 1940 black and white movie version of the novel, starring Laurence Olivier and Joan Fontaine.  Wikipedia says that Rebecca is one of Daphne Du Maurier’s best-loved novels.

The other day, I went to the Hampton Victory Garden to meet a man from the local water company.  It was time for “shut off” and there are a number of gyrations required to complete this seasonal task.  While I waited for him to arrive, I walked around the garden.  The opening scene of Du Maurier’s novel came to mind as I noted several abandoned and overgrown gardens, including my own.

Filled with regret and sadness, I thought about the years I have been a frustrated Hampton Victory gardener.  Maybe I’m too independent or maybe I just need more room, but it has been hard for me to garden in close proximity with so many other people I don’t really know.  I’m not anti-social; my brother tells me I am winsome and friendly, possibly too kind and caring.  I’ve collected lots of stories about people in the garden.  I’m a good listener.

I just like gardening on Pleasant Street with Uncle Bob.

At home, it’s easy and beautiful to climb the ladder in the barn and sit in my grandmother’s old lawn chair up in the eaves.  Uncle Bob has even saved the two cushions from my college love seat; apparently, mice chewed through the batting in the tiny couch’s frame, but the cushions are intact.  We’ll find a use for them.

This summer, occupied with the tasks of moving and Moxie, I deserted the Hampton Victory Garden.  I did the bare minimum as a coordinator, paying the water bill and answering emergency phone calls.  It bothered me that I was not doing the work I had volunteered to do.  I felt guilty.  There are only so many hours in a day.

Other than a few abandoned gardens, things seemed to go along as always.  Dick G., in his late eighties or early nineties, fixed broken faucets and spirits and sent me his receipts; Lee G., age unknown but older than me, collected produce for a local assisted living facility.

Today, Gary the plumber will “blow out” the water lines.  Gary’s getting older too; his son helps him with this project now.  Fall roto-tilling will be the last task and then the garden will be “finished” for the year.  A retired man from around the corner will do the job for a small fee.

I don’t know who will take over the coordination responsibilities next year.  It’s not a lot of work, it’s just a lot of little details that all converge in a small frenzy twice a year.  My most conscientious and engaged gardeners, however, are retired.  They’ve already lived a long life of work, community-involvement, and volunteer work and I’m not sure any of them want to do the paperwork and balance the checkbook.  I wouldn’t ask them to do these things anyway.

On Saturday, I went to a homecoming pancake breakfast at Lisbon High School.  I sort of mentioned that I was kind of moving home.  I was vague about the details and the dates.  One of the women asked “Why would you want to move back to Lisbon Falls?”

I said the usual things.  I’m lonely.  I love and miss my “tribe.”  I love Maine.  I have aging parents.  I want to start a lettuce farm.  I want to learn how to drive a tractor.

I don’t think she understood.  It wasn’t something I could explain over two pancakes and three sausage links.

I just want to go home.

My stoic German nature will persevere and I’ll take a few days off from The Big Corporation to clean up the abandoned gardens and do my guilty penance for abandoning the Hampton Victory Garden this summer.

“No worries,” as they say.

Is it possible that there is someone out there who loves Hampton, New Hampshire, the same way I love Lisbon Falls?  Are they driving around Boston with a “No Farms, No Food” bumper sticker on their car, just wanting a few square feet of dirt to grow some tomatoes and lettuce?

Come home!  Call me!  I have a great volunteer opportunity for you. 

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