Sure, groundhogs are sort of cute. They have a couple of big, lettuce munching front teeth, but they’re kind of cute. You’ll read a lot of dumb stories about them today, too. Maybe there is a reality Tee Vee show where a bunch of people domesticate groundhogs and show you how to make them into house pets. Maybe it’s called “Real Groundhogs of Punxsutawney.”
I’m not going to celebrate Groundhog Day. I’m not even going to give them the courtesy of a picture.
After losing a couple of rows of lettuce to a gang of groundhogs a few years ago, I read how one funky farmer tried to “peacefully co-exist” with groundhogs for many years until they just ate too many of his vegetables and he had to take “drastic measures.”
I know you know this frustration. These tunnel digging critters only look cute and dumb. They are not blind; they see your beautiful rows of spinach. They are hanging around your garden and spying out your daily activities so that when you’re not there, they can mow down your plants. You may think it is only Santa Claus who sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake, but the groundhog living under your neighbor’s porch knows this as well.
One even tried to bite Mayor Bloomberg in 2009.
They are not your friends. And we are going to have 6 more weeks of winter whether the groundhog in Punxsutawney sees a shadow or not. If you must do any Groundhog Day observation today, I would encourage you to use the time to research how to keep them OUT of your garden. If you don’t, you’ll need to take “drastic measures” in June.
And that is why farmers do not celebrate Groundhog Day.