What is Twitter?

The noun and verb forms of the word “twitter” sit in my Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary between the words “twitch” and “twixt.” I like the noun form best:

1. A trembling agitation: quiver,
2. A small tremulous intermittent sound (as of birds),
3. A light chattering, a light silly laugh, giggle.

Now I understand my aversion to the short messaging service named Twitter. It’s the giggle. @AuntTomato (my Twitter handle) never giggles. In fact, she doesn’t laugh much even though people are always telling her “you’re so funny.” She would like to laugh more but she is prone to irony and sarcasm, not light chattering and silly laughter. A sardonic sadness is her preferred pose. She would like to laugh more. Alas, talking in the pompous third person isn’t likely to procure her any Twitter followers.

Where is my copy of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People?

Wednesdays aren’t Twitter tutorial days; they’re “Tiny Steps Gardening Days.” In spite of yesterday’s snow, spring is still on schedule to arrive and many people will tweet about it. I will not be tweeting or blogging about spring today and I already have my “Minimalist” post queued up for tomorrow. I can report that all of the Valencia tomato seeds I planted on March 11 have germinated. No cotyledons have appeared yet.

Starting tomatoes in a chicken coop-sized condominium with East and West facing windows is a bit tricky. I use Jiffy peat pellets in the plastic “greenhouse” trays I save from year to year. I place the peat pellets in the tray, soak them with water, place two or three seeds in each pellet, place the greenhouse cover on the tray, and put the whole thing on a heat mat in a dark area. Moisture and heat helps the seeds germinate; I check every day for signs of life. When I see these signs, I take the greenhouse out of the dark and transfer it under my grow light.

We lost our power here at The Coop last night due to the storm and I wondered if my Valencia tomatoes were ready for evening darkness. Luckily, the power came back on during the night and my seedlings seemed unimpressed this morning.

Is my tomato starting system apocalyptically sustainable? No, it’s not. Without heat and light from electricity, there are no tomatoes. I’m not going to live in this chicken coop-sized condominium with East and West facing windows forever. As my friend Samantha Van Hopper might add “you can count on it.” I hope she tweets this.

One gardening item I won’t be tweeting about is the Hampton Victory Garden. I’m behind schedule on the mailing, although I know the majority of the gardeners will be returning this year. There won’t be many changes in the garden; the snow birds and the real birds will arrive and everyone will be twittering about things like lettuce, tomatoes, and peppers.

Someone just retweeted an interesting quote on Twitter. It’s a quote from a Tee Vee character on a make-believe show loosely modeled on the activities of a surreal place; a lot of people watch this show.

“Doesn’t matter what side you’re on; everybody’s gotta eat.”
–Frank Underwood

If a make-believe person on a Tee Vee show loosely modeled on the activities of a surreal place says something that is true, does it make it any less true? Prince Andrei wasn’t a real person either, but many of the things he said were true.

I’m going to end with some true and encouraging words from the real Uncle Bob. I’ll bet he’s out pushing snow around right now.

Aunt Tomato and Uncle Bob don’t giggle about growing food.