Myths About Goats

On one of my Lady Alone Traveler trips, I went to Head Tide to see the birth place of Edwin Arlington Robinson.  It was a trip along roads less traveled and it only seemed like I couldn’t get there from here.  As it happened, I drove right through Richmond, past an interesting place with a sign heralding “The Old Goat.”

I had other places to go and I didn’t think about The Old Goat again until my brother mentioned it.  I looked it up on the internet and decided it was worth a trip to Richmond.  A woman from Pompano Beach, Florida went there and had a bad time.  She said the owner was an “Old Goat” and she would NEVER go there again.

Hmmm…

I’ll admit the review intrigued me and it was part of the reason I decided to venture out to Richmond early on Saturday night.  I invited Handy to join me and off we went.  We’d either have a fun time or we’d get in a fight with the owner.  Either way, we couldn’t lose.

It started raining on our way over through the back roads of Bowdoin.  I read the Yelp reviews out loud while Handy drove.  He reminded me that there was a chain of restaurants profiting from obnoxious treatment of their customers, Dick’s Last Resort.  Maybe that was the Old Goat’s shtick.

I tried to imagine the type of incident that causes someone to “flame” a business on social media, then I remembered there was nothing social or sociable about social media.  It’s just one hand clapping.  Many people speak without boundaries because they can and apparently, we’re all the better for it.

Yeah, baby, America.

Handy and I ran across Richmond’s quaint and deserted Main Street, through the rain and into The Old Goat.  We sat at the bar and introduced ourselves to Scott, also known as the owner and Old Goat.  As is almost always the case in Maine, we had acquaintances in common.  With 22 different paninis, a healthy tap of beers, and more bottled beverages than I could count, it was hard making a decision.  I ended up ordering a Greek salad and Handy ordered a Ruben-esque panini.  We observed our surroundings and we chatted off and on with Scott.  He invited us to enter his Chili Cook-Off next Sunday afternoon.

The Old GoatA Chili Cook-Off in April?  Isn’t it better to have a Chili Cook-Off in the winter?

Look, this is Maine.  It was sunny and sixty degrees yesterday, but it’s going to rain today.  Might not get warmer than fifty.  It’s still tights and turtleneck weather for me.  Why not make chili this week? I’ve got a four-bean chili that I’m not ashamed to load into a crock-pot.

I’d love to share some with you next Sunday and you can decide for yourself whether The Old Goat is an Old Goat.  Join me at his pub in Richmond, Maine.  If you’re local, you know the way and if you’re traveling from more distant places, take Interstate 295 to the Richmond exit.  It’s about 3 miles into town and The Old Goat is on your left, about a block from the Kennebec River.

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Not in Our Lifetimes

I’ve been studying the movement of the sun shadows here at the house, making notes as the season changes.  The afternoon sun hits my bed pillow at approximately six these days; on Sunday afternoon, I retreated to this spot with an unexciting book.  In an hour, I was sleeping and then it was Monday morning.  I did a lot of writing last week and I was tired.

The week flew by and I scrambled each day to spend time raking and cleaning out the gardens.  I wasn’t here at this time last year and when I closed on the house at the end of May, the gardens were overgrown and out of control.  I pruned aggressively and I think I accidentally pulled out a few crocus bulbs not realizing those green grassy spikes were actually crocus leaves.  The ones that have come up in my front garden are sparse, unlike Helen’s.  Many are just small single flowers and all are purple.  They remind me of seed volunteers.

Crocus (2)The Sedum is coming up nicely.

SedumNo sign of the Hostas yet.

After the daily raking was done and it started to get dark, I took a walk.  The same walk as always, but last night as I came down past the cemetery I saw a detour sign.  The shadows of trucks and a small tractor with a headlight were moving in front of me, a strange panorama on a street normally quiet at this time of the evening.  Was it the water department, fixing a pipe?  Deep in my heart I knew it was not.  It was the Maloys, taking down two massive trees on the corner.  I’d seen the careless orange crosses on these leafless giants all winter, knowing they were marked for elimination.  Each time I’d walk and see them, I’d secretly sigh in relief that they’d graced that corner for another day.

Not last night.  In the darkness, I saw a man at the top of the tree, roped to the branch with his chainsaw buzzing.  Why the Maloys were taking down trees at night was a mystery.  Not that I’m questioning their climbing abilities, but it’s dangerous work even on a bright and clear day.  Yes, it’s dangerous work and it doesn’t pay much.  It reminded me of the company that did some tree work at my house.  I’d heard the owner had fallen from a tree and broken his leg in two places.

The whole situation was unsettling to me because I love trees.  Most of the trees in this town have been here my whole life.  The trees on that corner have been there for all of my father’s life.  Knowing that we won’t see trees like that again in our lifetime, I started to cry.

Those are the kinds of evening galas we have in Maine.

It’s not like this is the first tree that was ever cut down.  The beloved chestnut tree in The Village Blacksmith met its end in Longfellow’s lifetime.

It’s full on morning here now and I’m running late for a meeting in Portland.  No more drama today.

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A Change in the Landscape

I think the last frozen flake of snow is gone.

CrocusFinally.

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Now There’s a Story

Whoosh…and the weekend is gone.  A bunch of stories accumulated over the last 48 hours but I’m running late this morning.

Now There's a StoryPlease accept my apologies.  I’ll post the story of the stories later today or tomorrow or Friday.

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Cake Break

We’ve had fun making cakes here on the blog these last few months.  There was a maple cake, a lemon cake, a banana cake, and a spice cake.  Last week’s cake was a tribute to new blogger and twitterati, Benjamin Shalom Bernanke, The Economy Cake.

There’s still a piece of it in the refrigerator.  The low profile, likely from quantitative easing, was lifted by some cream cheese frosting.  But feeling a certain cake-full corpulence in my step lately, I decided to knock it off this week.

No cake today.

Last weekend, when Handy and I were driving around looking at standing seam metal roofs, we ended up at a certain intersection in the middle of somewhere.  Would we go left or right?  I said “let’s go right and see where this road goes.”

We were just driving around and I was enjoying the nothingness of it.  I felt guilty, though.  Green guilt, from wasting gas, and then some “I should be doing something productive” guilt.  I asked Handy if he thought it was unusual that I was happy being chauffeured around the countryside.  He said “You’re cooped up in your house all week long.”

Cooped up?  It’s not true that I’m in my house all week long.  I walk to the post office every day, I walk after work.  I stomp around the yard, trimming bushes.  Why, yesterday, I could have shoveled if I’d wanted to.  I drive places, too, like to Lewiston and Brunswick.  And Brunswick and Lewiston.

Maybe Handy was right.  I had been cooped up all winter.  The timing of his absolution was perfect, too, since a local media outlet asked me if I wanted to do some blogging for them, just once a week.  It might be the perfect place to revive my “Lady Alone Traveler” shtick.  And my drapery fabric was in at the Exeter Handkerchief Factory; they stay open late on Thursday nights.  Why not jump on the Downeaster and see if I still had it in me?

Exeter, New Hampshire is a lovely town, even on a snowy, misty day.  The fabric store is right next to the train station, so I settled up my fabric account and promised to return before closing time to pick up the goods.  Then, I took a walk to the center of town, past familiar houses and buildings.  Look at that old oak tree.

Beautiful Old TreeApparently, the Exeter Historical Society’s building was not built with Carnegie cash.  It fooled me.  I’ll have to go back some day and investigate.

Not a Carnegie LibraryExeter has sturdy sidewalks, restaurants, an independent book store, churches, and lots of history, for a start.  If I lived in Exeter, I’d write a walking guide of the town.  Maybe I’d be the official spokeswoman for the general excellence of walking about Exeter.  Sort of like those Freeport flag ladies, except without a big painted conversion van.

Exeter is a walker’s destination.

Alas, I do not live in Exeter.  I’ve rolled the dice and I’m back in Lisbon Falls.  One thing I’m sure of, though…there is beauty everywhere and The Lady Alone Traveler will find it.

Stay tuned.

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The Ice is Out

Ice floes on the Androscoggin River, Easter Sunday 2015.

Ice OutSpring’s slow arrival.

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The Riverboat Gamblers

Today is a big day.  It’s the day I get my third roofing quote here at the house.

Last week, Handy and I met with roofing contractors.  It’s a small job.  I want to install a standing seam metal roof on the garage, the screen porch, and the roof over what was an addition to the house.  I agree with Handy that metal roofs are the way to go, but neither of us had any idea how much such a project might cost.

It’s an older garage, not antique, but solidly built.

The Provenance of the GarageI don’t have much experience in these types of negotiations because as you may recall, few contractors were interested in doing work for me at the chicken coop-sized condominium I lived in previously because it was, well, a chicken coop-sized job.  Too small.  Now, my real estate holdings have expanded exponentially and I’ve been able to command some attention.  Or at least get some roofing contractors to come to my house with ladders, measuring tape, and lined paper.

Plus, it’s spring.  It’s time for contractors to get moving after a long winter.

The first visit on Monday really set the tone for the rest of the week.  Bob and John showed up in a late-model Chevy Malibu.  They were early, but I was ready for them and met them in the driveway.  Bob’s title was “Sales & Finance Manager” and John didn’t have a card.  I pointed out the roof areas to be assessed and how I wanted the job quoted.  Not knowing how these jobs were priced, I decided it might be good to get a quote on the garage separate from the house so I could have some options.

Handy showed up and I introduced him as my “general contractor.”  I went in the house and waited.

It didn’t take long.  The three of them came into the house and Bob asked if he could sit in the living room to do some calculations.  He started rustling his papers, punching a calculator, and scribbling furiously while John sat down at the kitchen island in Handy’s regular seat.  He had a binder with laminated pages and he began giving a “presentation.”

Having at one time in my life been part of a sales team that made presentations, I realized I would now be subjected to a “dog and pony show” about standing seam metal roofing.  As my brother will tell you, I have a very high tolerance for boorish behavior.  I politely listened to John’s “talking points” and examined the sheets in his presentation binder.

Just as John had finished explaining the company’s “A Plus” rating with the Better Business Bureau, Bob jumped up from the couch where he’d been calculating and told me he had a price.  Handy stood off to the side and Bob sat down next to John.  I stood where I always stand, on the opposite side of the island.

Bob casually presented the yellow-lined document with the eight items that would be included in the job, including stripping loose shingles, applying roof guard and wall flashing where applicable, and a non-vented ridge cap.  As I’d requested, the job was broken down into two sections, garage and house.  The total?

A five-figure number 32% more than my new furnace.

Not being a poker player, I must have flinched because Bob asked “what do you think of the number?”

I felt like I had been stopped at a sobriety checkpoint after watching three hours of videos about Miranda rights and talking to the police.  What should I say?

I composed my thoughts and said “well, five figures are more than four.”

Then Bob asked me what price I might be more inclined to pay.

Once again, I was a deer in the headlights.  Where was I? I thought I was in my kitchen discussing roofing.  Handy and I talk about home projects in this self-same spot at least three times a week and never once have I looked over at him and thought I was counting cards and smoking cigars with a riverboat gambler.

Bob must have sensed my discomfort or else he realized I only aspired to purchase furniture from the Thomas Moser catalog on my living room coffee table, so he took back the piece of paper, flipped it over, and covertly wrote a new number.  He slid it towards me on the island and said “what do you think of this number?”

The new number was 20% less than the first number.

Handy coughed and I said “that’s a much better number.  For how long would this offer be good?”

Bob paused.  The quote would be good for 14 days, but anything longer than that would require his manager’s approval.  Seeing my escape through this chink in the conversation, I told Bob and John how much I appreciated their visit today.  I explained my policy to get three quotes before I make a financial decision involving four figures and theirs was the first.  I thanked them again, we all shook hands, and they got back into the late-model Chevy Malibu and drove off down the street.

On Thursday, two other contractors visited.  They drove trucks, the kinds you see during Super Bowl commercials, and they used ladders to take measurements.  After introductions, I let Handy do the talking.  At one point, overhearing the conversation, I laughed and realized I had no idea what they had said to each other.  It was all quite pleasant and there were no sales presentations.  Both contractors told me they would e-mail me their quotes.

I got one of the prices on Saturday and it was 32% less than the original price outlined by Bob and John on Monday.  Handy stopped by and offered to take me for a drive to look at various metal roofs in our area.  It was bright and sunny and we chatted about the roofing estimates and the Bernanke cake; he asked me where I got my blog ideas.

“Do you think these things up while you’re taking your walks?”

I told him they did sometimes come to me while I was walking, but mostly they came from the daily trials and tribulations of first world life.  The simple things, like trying to get a good cup of coffee in a coffee-saturated world or just trying to find out the true price for a standing seam metal roof.

When it comes to stories about riverboat gamblers, I’ll leave that up to Elvis Presley and Edna Ferber.  

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The Economy Cake

I have “economist envy.”

What do I mean by that?  I think economics is fascinating and yet, I have never had the time or the discipline to develop a deep and intimate understanding of the “dismal science.”  I have learned enough of the boring lingo to be dangerous to myself at almost any social gathering, though, and I generally stick to topics of macroeconomics.  The big picture is easy to talk about over bits of marinated chicken on skewers.

For such a dull topic, the internet is littered with economic blogs and websites.  Sometimes, I laugh out loud when I read them.  This week, a known economic lightning rod joined the social media fray, announcing a new blog.

Ben Bernanke’s Blog.

The beautiful alliteration extends, as the former Federal Reserve Chairman blogs from his new job at the Brookings Institute.

He’s on Twitter, too.  You should follow him.

The BernankHe’s tweeted 5 times in 3 days and has over 26,000 followers.  Talk about the law of large numbers.

He’s not yet as Twitter-effusive as former Treasury Secretary Larry Summers, who clocks in at a little over 650 tweets and 32,000 followers, but he and Larry are having a blog fight over why interest rates are so low.

The Washington Post dramatically says it is the “most important blog fight ever.”

We shall see.

Here in the more barren landscapes, the snow continues its slow disappearance across the lawn.  My flower gardens have appeared and I now see the leaves I left to gently blanket spring’s arrival.  The furnace runs less frequently and the sun enters the house earlier from different angles.

To congratulate Mr. Bernanke on his blog adventures, I’m baking an “Economy Cake” today.  The recipe is simple, requires no eggs and no special cake flour.  In the event the cake is a bit dry, like some perceive the dismal science to be, I’ve got a stick of butter ready to frost up and improve any lagging financial indicators.

Good luck, Ben.

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Martha Fools

Yesterday was April Fools’ Day–not a big holiday here.  It was one of those days of world-weariness that required beauty, though, and I figured Martha Stewart might have some elaborately upholstered side chairs or forced forsythia under glass to gaze upon.

I clicked on over to Martha’s digital digs and under “Get Inspired” read “How to Power Your Entire House Using Potatoes.”

I was intrigued.  If anyone could pull off a feat like that, it’s Martha Stewart.

Potatoes

Sadly, it was an April Fools’ joke.  Once again, Martha Stewart had tricked me with one of her elaborate schemes.

Shame on me.

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Making it Right

I’d like to say it was a perfect weekend but the pleasant brightness was momentarily blighted when I bought a double shot of espresso at one of the world’s largest coffee houses.  It was a mistake, pure and simple.  How do you get a shot of espresso wrong?  I don’t know, it was probably an anomaly.  Maybe I don’t get out enough.  But the coffee was cold and bitter.  I should have returned it at once; shame on me.  The company has a “barista promise” and they say they’ll always “make it right.”

These days, when a consumer has a problem, there are many ways they can “lodge a complaint.”  They can tweet, post to the company’s Facebook page, or stage an electronic protest.  If the complaint is witty or winsome enough, it may go viral.  The options are endless.  And in the case of the coffee house in question, all I had to do was walk back in to the store and say “my coffee tastes like crap.”  I would have been instantly rewarded.

Maybe I was tired.  Maybe I was having a moment of world-weariness.  When I’d placed my order, the baristas were in their own little snow globe, having a conversation amongst themselves about their lengths of service and the career ladder at the coffee company.  After receiving my cup of espresso, I noticed the half and half container was empty and brought it up to the counter.  The barista asked “do you need it?”

Insert heavy sigh here.

When I got to my car and sipped my cup of crap, it just seemed easier to dump it on the ground and go home.

In the old days, “lodging a complaint” was more complex.  Paper, letters, stamps.  Effort.  There was a time when I used to be diligent in my complaints.  I wrote letters and I returned items.  Here’s a 2004 letter I sent to General Mills Direct Marketing.  I had ordered two stainless steel dessert servers with cereal box tops and a check.  They kept sending me postcards saying the dessert servers were on back order and would I like to cancel my order.  Read on:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am now in receipt of your second “Circle ONLY those items you wish to cancel” post card.  I DO NOT WISH TO CANCEL MY ORDER OF TWO DESSERT SERVERS.  I sent you a check in January, 2004, and this check has been cashed.

If you have no plans to deliver the goods (i.e. the two dessert servers I have paid for) I think you should make a more honorable attempt at “good business” by returning my money.  I sent this money to you in good faith and while it is a small amount, it is the principle and not the product that concerns me most.

Please deliver the two dessert servers as soon as possible.  If the dessert servers are not delivered within the next 60 days, I would expect you to return the money I sent to you in good faith.

I have visited your web site and find no General Mills product I can’t live without.  I use very few of your products and the ones I have used will no longer be on my shopping list.  The General Mills logo is so prominent it will be easy for me to avoid it in the grocery store.

Those were the days.

I still have options when it comes to coffee and maybe the best option is to just drink it at home.  It’s always hot and never bitter here in the kitchen.  And the coffee company’s logo is so prominent, it’s easy for me to avoid it on the highways and byways I travel.

Meanwhile, the Maine snow continues to melt gracefully and although the early spring landscape is dirty and unattractive here at the lower elevations, most of the larger ski resorts will extend their seasons until May.

Palm Sunday in MaineAnd some good news.  I bought cake flour.  The local grocery megaplex had Swans Down and King Arthur.  Thank goodness, because Softasilk is Pillsbury which is really General Mills.

The dessert server?

They made it right and delivered both of them, one for me and one for Helen.  I’ll use mine with this week’s cake.

The coffee will be hot and the cake will be sweet.  You have my word.

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