Reggie’s Lunch on a Private Jet

Reggie is out of town today and probably won’t read this post until Thursday, so instead of writing about gardening like I usually do on Wednesdays, I’m going to take advantage of his absence and indulge my readers in a silly and slightly sassy post about a cookbook I bought this weekend.

I love cookbooks, especially the old ones.  When I want to take a sentimental journey into the past, I curl up with my Culinary Arts Institute Encyclopedic Cookbook, copyright 1950.  I can spend hours studying chapters like “Your Sandwiches” and “Your Snacks and Appetizers.”  One of these days, I’m going to make a “Frosted Loaf Sandwich” and I’ll surely blog about it.  Any time I stuff and cook a turkey or a broiler, I pull out The Good Housekeeping Cookbook, copyright 1963, and follow the directions and the time chart closely.  It never fails.

Boeuf à la Bourgignonne for Saturday night?  Sure, I have a couple of Julia Child’s cookbooks.

When I’m feeling earthy, I might put together a vegetarian quiche from either The Moosewood Lodge Cookbook or The Enchanted Broccoli Forest Cookbook.  If I’m going somewhere and I need to bring a dish delish, the Silver Palate Cookbook’s offerings are tried and true.

I must admit, however, that I have no Junior League cookbooks.  It’s not that I’ve never bought a Junior League cookbook; in 2007 when I was an active member of the Junior League of Boston, I bought 20 copies of the then newly-released Boston Uncommon.  I had fundraising goals and they made great gifts and…coffee table books.  I never kept one for myself.

Was I bitter?  Were my feelings hurt that they didn’t accept my French Canadian grandmother’s tourtière recipe for the “culinary tour” featuring “recipes highlighting local New England flavors?”  Maybe.  I did my part, though, and bought the darn cookbooks.  Then I gave them all away.  No hard feelings now, but every once in a while I wonder if perhaps my offering was not quite grand enough to sit alongside “Lumberjack Cookies” (seemingly similar to Joy of Cooking’s Ginger Snaps) and “Boston Baked Beans.”  Maybe baked and boiled pork, beef, potatoes, and spices en croute screamed “HOW GAUCHE!”

Well…with all these suppressed emotions surfacing, I quickly snapped up a 1976 first edition Dallas Junior League Cookbook at an antique show on Sunday.  The dealer, anxious to make a sale, dropped the price by five dollars with a smile and pocketed my Andrew Jackson.  My plan:  send the cookbook to a Junior League of Boston acquaintance transferred here from the Junior League of Dallas.

When I got home and started wrapping up the book for mailing, I couldn’t resist the temptation to look inside.  Holy hollandaise!  Those Junior League women in Dallas didn’t waste any time letting cooks know how big and rich things were in Texas, with page ten’s menu for “Lunch on a Private Jet.”  Apparently “Texans need little reason to plan extravagant entertaining.  Perhaps your excuse is that the turbos of the family jet are gathering cobwebs or maybe there’s just an uncontrollable urge to rent one of those jazzy stratostreakers.”

Private jet noise…the sound of freedom and sophistication.

Caraway Cheese Pastries sounded good, so I looked up the recipe and spied a delightful diversity of ideas.  There were whole menu plans for “Russian Easter Dinner,” “Cinco de Mayo,” and “Oktoberfest” without the sauerkraut, although Mrs. Leo F. Corrigan, Jr.’s recipe for this fermented condiment was found on page 315.

(No sauerkraut on the private jet, please.)

If the Dallas Junior League cookbook is a historical snapshot of a certain time and place, it looks like well-heeled women from that corner of the Lone Star State liked to start their meals with soups from all over North America; bring on the Cuban Black Bean Soup or even some Canadian Cheese Soup.  After clearing and crumbing, Big D diners could dig in to hearty main dishes like Indian Chicken, Persian Chicken, and Greek Pot Roast; jet-setting globetrotters would enjoy endings like English Clove Cake, French Coffee Cake, Italian Cream Cake, Scotch Scones, Irish Oatmeal Cookies, and even…Beacon Hill Cookies.

It’s a small world after all, isn’t it?

I’m not ready to part with this cookbook just yet.  I guess I have some more “work” to do within myself.  For readers interested in more cooking ideas from the Junior League, visit this fun and sadly abandoned blog.

Somewhere in the stratosphere, Reggie Black is cramped into a business class seat.  He’s likely crunching on one of three pretzel twists graciously offered him by an overworked flight attendant and anxiously looking forward to reading any blog posts he’s missed.  His Oysters Rockefeller Casserole will have to wait until he makes his touch-down.

Posted in Cooking and Food | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Down Admiral Fitch Avenue

For readers who have been paying attention, Monday is the day I write about my “Lady Alone Traveler” adventures.  In the back of my mind, I have an idea for a book about interesting and off-beat places in Maine.  I’ve tossed around a few different themes, like visiting and writing about every Maine town with a Reny’s store.  It’s a fine list of places, except there are no stores in Aroostook County and Lady Alone Traveler thinks all of Maine’s sixteen counties are worthy of her attention.  Another scheme I considered, in addition to occasionally talking about myself in the third person, was writing about the home towns of famous and not so famous Maine writers; there are many of them.  This prompted my visits to Gardiner and Head Tide a few weeks ago.

I’m not ruling this book idea out either.

In the last few weeks, time has been in short supply and I haven’t been able to venture too far beyond my backyard.  But since I am almost always the Lady Alone Traveler, even when I’m only running errands, I’m weaving this week’s travel adventure from my everyday life.

A Sunday afternoon antique show at the renovated Cabot Mill pointed me towards Brunswick, a livable town less than ten miles from home.  There are generous sidewalks, a Saturday farmers market, a health food store, an independent book store, Bowdoin College, an Amtrak station, many restaurants, and of course, antique shops.  My good friend Shelley lives there, too.  Brunswick is the kind of town I could live in without a car.

The antique show was fine but something was not right in the Brunswick air yesterday.  I couldn’t put my finger on it but everyone I passed, with the exception of the antique dealers, had foul looks on their faces.  I know it’s hard to imagine, but every Brunswick man, woman, and child looked like they had either just smelled a fresh fart or stepped in a pile of smoking dog BLEEP.  I’m sure it was just a temporary affliction, like a mote in one’s eye, but it darkened the afternoon and I couldn’t seem to overcome it with my own cheerful demeanor.  Their looks said “move along.”  One last strained and sickened glance from an old man with horn-rimmed glasses screamed “leave this town.”

Then I remembered something Reggie had said.

“You ought to go over to the old Naval Air Station, walk around and see what’s happening.”

It seemed like a good idea.

The Brunswick Naval Air Station is just two miles from the downtown area.  Growing up, it was a strange and forbidden land because my father wasn’t in the Navy.  When I made friends with a military family in high school, we would pile into their station wagon on rainy Saturdays and go to the pool.  It was thrilling to stop at the guard-house and wait for a posture-perfect soldier to salute us and wave us through to a land of clipped lawns and efficiently moving traffic.

My memories of “the base” were imprecise, so as I drove past the abandoned guard-house and down Admiral Fitch Avenue, I had to dig deep into my brain to figure out the way to the pool.  There was no traffic, so it didn’t really matter how slow I drove.  At the end of the avenue, I circled left on Pelican Street and then down Burbank Avenue and parked near the Dental Clinic.  My friend Shelley’s father had been in the Navy and Brunswick had been his last stop.  I wondered if she had ever had her teeth cleaned on base.  All the clinic’s fillings are being removed now.  This building may be slated for demolition; I’m not sure.

I parked the Jeep and just started walking.

I retraced my driving route, looking for things I remembered.  I found The Chapel, where Shelley and Steve were married.

What a beautiful day that was, so long ago now.  A group of retired and ex-navy personnel, the Brunswick Naval Museum and Memorial Gardens, want to buy The Chapel and restore it for historical and archival purposes.  They currently rent space in Hangar 6 from the base’s owners, the Midcoast Regional Redevelopment Authority.  I wonder how they’re doing with membership and fundraising.

I kept walking and thinking and seeing what I could see.

The base was decommissioned and closed as a naval operation on May 31, 2011, barely three years ago.  Any ambitious project, like creating the Maine Center for Innovation, will take time.  As I walked and looked at ghosts of another era, I kept thinking about John Summers’ tart article from The Baffler, “The People’s Republic of Zuckerstan.”  In this long essay, Summers discusses Massachusetts and Cambridge in particular, as the hub of the East’s “Innovation Economy.”  I wondered as I walked if Brunswick could soon experience the type of entrepreneurial zeitgeist Cambridge was experiencing as an incubator of ideas and economic growth.

I thought about the long walks I used to take around another relic of the Cold War, the former Pease Air Force base in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.  There isn’t a museum at Pease, as far as I know, but there’s still an active Air Force presence, unlike Brunswick.  Time has marched on and in a generation, it’s possible that the people who live and work at these places won’t remember there had been a war at all, hot or cold.

The Lady Alone Traveler starts her adventures too late on Sunday afternoons, I think.  She’s always wandering around a cemetery or a deserted naval base as the sun starts sliding into the western sky.  These long shadows and venues aren’t conducive to light and optimistic thoughts and even if there is a large white birch tree full of big fat robins next to a deteriorating building, she can’t help but wonder if one million square feet of industrial space is a big vacancy to fill.

Anchors aweigh!

Posted in Just Writing | Tagged , , , , | 13 Comments

Growing Daylight

It’s almost 6:00 p.m. in this picture.

Ten hours and fifty-one minutes of daylight.

Posted in Today We Rest | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Growing Daylight

The Bridal Bazaar

It’s that time of year…show time.  Home shows, flower shows, and of course, bridal shows.  Like indoor county fairs, these gatherings are often coordinated by professional event planners and sold to vendors as an opportunity to showcase their products and services to potential customers.  For a bridal show, vendors might include photographers, bakers, florists, and musicians.  Bridal vendors pay a booth rental fee at the event and hope the foot traffic of potential customers shuffling by will improve their business.  The business of America is business and trade shows are all about lead generation and selling a product.

Trade show popularity may be waning in the internet age, but during my brief employment at The White Sarcophagus, the late winter bridal show at UNH’s Whittemore Center was a big deal.

One cold January Friday, a petite blonde woman came into the Sarcophagus and marched into the office.  I was busy trying (once again) to fix the broken vacuum and when I got up and went into the office, she was working on the computer and making a phone call.  She put the receiver down briefly and said “I’m Carleen, co-owner.  Nice to meet you” and picked the phone back up.

In the two months I’d worked for Bay Bracken, she only mentioned Carleen once or twice.  Some old newspaper clippings from the boutique’s opening had mentioned her, but since I’d never seen her, I assumed she was a silent partner.  According to Bay, Carleen had landed a job as a pharmaceutical sales executive over a year ago and she didn’t have much extra time for the bridal business.

As I worked on the vacuum, I overheard some of her conversations:

“We’re going to need 500 copies of that sales flyer, there’s no way we can print them ourselves.”

“We have plenty of bags; we’ll stuff them with tissue paper and put Hershey’s kisses in them.”

“How about we raffle off a wedding dress?”

A customer came into the store and I introduced myself, asking her questions about her upcoming nuptials.  While we were talking, Bay came upstairs from the spa.  She went into the office and closed the door.

Attending to the bride-to-be distracted me from what might have been going on in the office; she tried on five dresses and she asked if she could make a Saturday appointment.  I agreed that the last dress she tried on was absolutely gorgeous on her and she should come in with her mother and her mother’s credit card to finalize the beautiful transaction.

I wrote her name in the appointment book and she left.  Another happy bride-to-be.

I picked up the dressing room and put away the gowns, noting the particular one she would want to try on for her mother on Saturday.  More time passed and I heard Bay’s raised voice from behind the office door.

“We don’t have seven hundred and fifty dollars for a space at the Bridal Show.”

Carleen argued that the fee could be put on the Sarcophagus’s credit card and that the exposure and the additional business it would generate would be exactly what they needed.  Carleen said “We’ve always had a booth at the Bridal Show.  If we don’t show up, brides will think we’re going out of business.  I’ll handle all the details.”

After some silence, Bay said “OK.  Julie-Ann can help you with it.  I don’t have time for any of that.”

The door opened.  Bay and Carleen came out.  Carleen and I were formally introduced and she went into a sales pitch, telling me about the upcoming Bridal Show and what I could do to help her.  Bay slipped down the stairs and I was left with Carleen’s machine gun-like energy and excitement.  She explained how successful past shows had been for the business and how she and Bay had set up the booth and collected hundreds of leads.  The way she explained it, they did little more than show up with a wedding dress and the cash started rolling in.

After about 40 minutes of this assault, she looked at her watch and said “I’ve got to go.  We’ll talk more this weekend.”

She left and I looked at the calendar.  The event was only three weeks away.  I was skeptical about the whole thing and as the days passed, I came to understand that my role would be minimal.  I was the gift bag lady.

Bay and Carleen would “show up” and “sell the BLEEP out of the brand.”

The Sarcophagus closed at 4:00 p.m. on Fridays and as I pushed the broken vacuum around that day, I noticed a small stain in the carpet I’d never seen before.  In fact, there were a lot of stains in the slate gray carpet.  I looked around the boutique and wondered if it would be elegant and fabulous enough for all the new business the Bridal Show would generate.

Only time would tell if my worries were warranted.  Maybe Carleen was right and the Sarcophagus’s prosperity was “in the bag.”

Posted in Friday Pillow Talk | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

This Spectral Season

More snow here in New England and even though the days are longer and the sun is stronger, I hear weary complaints.  The monstrous piles of white stuff causes shovelers to see shapes and spectres.

Remember, the sun rises and the sun sets, same as it ever was.

Posted in Minimalist | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

The Parch

When I was in college, we had an expression for the phenomenon which occurred the morning after drinking a few too many beers.  You know, that tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth feeling?  The parch.

It’s a silly beginning to a serious topic; please accept my apologies.  I was up half the night reading about this problem and trying to determine what was true and what was show business for the Tee Vee news.  The puppets picked up the story over the weekend and flew it out there to see if it would be good for ratings.  The situation had all the ingredients of a trending news story–starvation, impending doom, political strife, and class envy.

The current sitting president even made an appearance.  Maybe that was what made it news, but the fact remains that there is a very serious drought in California.

Parts of Arkansas, Colorado, Hawaii, Idaho, Kansas, New Mexico, Nevada, Oklahoma, Texas, and Utah have been experiencing drought conditions, too, some areas for more than two years.  Farmer friends I know in Texas started selling off their cattle in 2012 due to the drought.

California is parched.

As a local food crank, I try to buy all of my food from local farmers, farmers markets, or small grocers.  The only things I buy in big grocery stores these days are toilet paper and dish detergent.  I am fortunate and grateful I can live this way; it may not always be possible.  Do I buy food from California?  Yes, I do.  I buy walnuts, raisins, and almonds.  I have noted the price jumps on jars of almond butter at my local health food store; it’s not an item I need or want, but the regular and rapid price increase catches my attention.

As I researched the drought, the statistic that astounded me was the one that said eighty to ninety percent of the lettuce and greens consumed in the United States come from California.  Similar percentages of California peaches, strawberries, and plums delight snow-weary Eastern shoppers.  The list of foods from California is long and includes tomatoes, broccoli, lettuce, cantaloupes, garlic, peppers, and corn.  How did we get so dependent on one state for our daily bread?  As Joel Salatin might say, “folks, this ain’t normal.”

It’s probably not sustainable, either.

Many farmers in California are not planting their fields this year.  If the drought continues, prices for the fresh fruit and vegetables most consumers buy in their local grocery stores will continue to rise.

Wages for most people with jobs are not going up.

I’m sorry to be a clanging gong this morning.  I’ve spent a lot of time in the last ten years thinking about how unsustainable many aspects of modern living are for people with incomes that do not increase exponentially.  Who am I to tell consumers they can’t have what they want?  If consumers want avocados, they are free to buy avocados; this is America, right?  All I’m saying is that in the future, avocados may cost a lot of money, if they’re available at all.

Uncle Bob always says “everybody has to eat,” and it’s true.

Think about your food today and where it comes from.

Posted in Cooking and Food, Farmers | Tagged , , | Comments Off on The Parch

Jury Duty

That’s my teaser title excuse for getting the blog up late today.  I don’t have jury duty.

For some of the employed, including me, today is a holiday known as Presidents’ Day.  I’m sitting on the couch, listening to BBC-Radio 3, contemplating these late winter Monday holidays.  Do people still buy cars on Presidents’ Day?  Maybe I need a new Jeep.

Just thinking about it makes my head hurt.  Maybe I need a horse.

Yesterday, some good people in my town hosted a fundraiser called “The World’s Greatest Sleigh Rides.”  There are lots of draft horse people in Maine, apparently, and the owners of these amazing animals haul their teams to a big snowy field at the edge of town, hitch them up to sleds, and offer rides through the woods.  It’s a good exercise in learning what words and expressions like “whoa,” “hold your horses,” and “horsepower” mean.

I enjoyed my ride and yet I found myself wondering “can’t these horses pull this sled any faster?”  Why was the pleasant pace not fast enough for me, given it was Sunday and I had no particular place to go?  This disturbing dissonance was my Sunday afternoon contemplation.  I have never known anything but the speed of an internal combustion engine.  I was taken by automobile in utero to the hospital where I was born; I’ve been moving about this way my whole life.  I know nothing else but the need for speeds greater than that of a horse.  After all, animals led or driven are not allowed on the Maine Turnpike.

Perhaps I will never be able to slow down.  That’s a depressing thought for a sunny Presidents’ Day, yet the cars outside my window go whizzing by.

Hail to the horse.

Posted in Critters | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments

Foiled by Time

I had a plan for these paper hearts and no, it wasn’t part of a “Galentines Day” scheme.  (The long, cricket-filled silence you hear is that of my fingers pausing kindly on the keyboard, refraining from an acid-bath manifesto.)

I was foiled by time again.  And the weather.  I may implement my plan next week or next month because if Tee Vee characters can make up holidays, so can I.

Posted in Today We Rest | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Three Little Words

I could go on and on with my first impressions of The White Sarcophagus, but I won’t belabor things.  Bay Bracken hired me to work a few hours and she said she would pay me a few dollars.  Since I hadn’t had a traditional wedding myself, I was wide-eyed and enchanted by the bridal business and its potential to jettison me to a new career in the fashion industry.  The satins, the crinolines, the dyed to match shoes, and all the accessories were sparkly and beautiful; as pure as the driven snow.  And no, the “boutique” wasn’t really called The White Sarcophagus, but since it’s only been out of business for a few years, there might still be a few victims and survivors out there who would be damaged were I to use the actual name of the enterprise in this series of recollections.

The White Sarcophagus or The Bridal Barge; take your pick.

November and December are two of the slowest months in a bridal salon.  Very little happens because wedding season is over and engagement season is yet to begin.  Occasionally, a bride will find a diamond in a Thanksgiving drumstick, but December is the most popular month for engagements and brides begin their dress hunting pilgrimage in January.  Business being slow, I had plenty of time to study the merchandise and learn the ropes.  Most of the traffic through the Sarcophagus consisted of brides and bridesmaids coming for fittings with the seamstress, Sally, who worked every Thursday night.  The alteration hours were the time to sell a bride her veil and shoes.

Veils were easy to sell, but brides needed a lot of coaching.  There were so many possibilities–the blusher, the mid-length, and the cathedral length.  Two-tier veils trimmed with thin satin ribbon.  To bead or not to bead, was often the question.  And was a bride bold enough to walk down the aisle with a lace mantilla?  Not many were.  The most important thing to do was confidently convince a bride which veil would be just right for her.

We had a large assortment of sample veils at The White Sarcophagus and except for a cathedral length which had been sucked up in the vacuum a few too many times and had a two foot rip on the end, most of them were still quite crisp and clean.  “Try this one” I’d say and then I’d squint a little in contemplation.

“No, that looks horrid.  Try this one.”

A veil is an innocuous little scrap of tulle or netting which usually looks good on any face.  A bloated and unattractive face hidden behind a gauzy white cloud and a few Swarovski crystals was suddenly enchanting.  A blusher over a leathery and electrically tanned visage was an instant skin softener.  By the fourth veil, I had usually found a winner for the bride-to-be and I could tell her those three little words:

“It’s absolutely perfect!”

Or

“You look gorgeous!”

Followed by

“Cash or charge?”

Once the transaction was complete, I’d call the order in to Annabella Bridals in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.  Mrs. Lundgren was my contact at Annabella and since I never talked to anyone else, it was difficult to get a good mental picture of what the bridal veil “factory” might look like.  I imagined it was just Mrs. Lundgren working the phones while an elderly seamstress stitched away on an old Singer treadle sewing machine in the middle of miles of netting and ribbon.

It probably wasn’t really like that.

Mrs. Lundgren was always pleasant and friendly, though, and she always ended my order call with a “Yah,” and then three little words:

“Thanks a bunch.”

November and December were good months at The White Sarcophagus.  Business was slow, but the UPS truck kept bringing boxes from Sioux Falls, South Dakota and brides-to-be were veiled and happy.

What could possibly go wrong?

Posted in Friday Pillow Talk | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Monday on Thursday

Young ladies used to embroider tea towels for every day of the week and then put them in their “hope” chest.

Somewhere, I have a “Tuesday.”

Posted in Minimalist | Tagged , , | 2 Comments