I Was a Whiny Baby!

Posted on August 14, 2015 by Julie-Ann Baumer

Last Friday, I celebrated a birthday.  It was a gorgeous day; the weather was beautiful and I received many, many wishes and greetings by every invented method of communication.  Alan, Gina, Handy, and my brother Jim even stopped by with presents.  (Did I forget anyone?)  My mother, my forever patron Saint Helen, invited me for dinner and cake.  (Did I ever tell you about the time she tried to serve me a store-bought birthday cake?  No?  A story for another day.)  Slipper Sistah stopped by while I was there and asked my mother probing questions about my first days and months in this world.

I was shocked to learn that I was a “whiny baby.”

Following this revelation, I formally interviewed my mother.  Here is a transcription of our interview, to set the record straight.

JAB:    Tell me a little bit more about when I was a baby.  Would I sleep well at night?

Helen: No, you didn’t.  You were such a good baby during the day.  You would sleep all day.  Then, come night time, you’d go (insert the sound of “boo hoo” similar to a small dog howling here).

JAB:    So you’re saying I was a whiny baby?

Helen: Very whiny.

Slipper (in the background): We’ve got a witness to that.

JAB: (Laughing) OK, OK, then you’d get up and give me a bottle?  And I’d go back to sleep?

Helen: Yes, and no sooner would you be falling asleep, we’d go back to our bed.  And the whining would start again, (insert the sound of “boo hoo” similar to a small dog howling here).

There you have it.  I was a whiny baby.

Whiny BabyThe interview continued with information about me trying to run away while Helen was hanging laundry, but that is another story for another day.  More interviews will be required, as it seems I had an accomplice.

In 2012, I wrote a blog post about whining.  It was called “Whining Baby Bucket” and it was about whining and gratitude, more or less.  You can read it here.

I sure hope I’m not a whiny baby any more.  I know I don’t make “boo hoo” noises similar to a small dog howling, but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of whining.  The 2012 blog evidence shows I was guilty of it at least three years ago.  I’ll need to remain vigilant about whining and “boo hoo’ing” and howling like a little dog.

Keep me honest, ok?

And for God’s sake, stop whining!

Posted in Friday Pillow Talk | Tagged , | Comments Off on I Was a Whiny Baby!

A Cow Called Moxie

Posted on August 13, 2015 by Julie-Ann Baumer

At the Topsham Fair last week…

A Cow Called MoxieAs it should be.

Posted in Minimalist | Tagged , , | Comments Off on A Cow Called Moxie

The Demolition Derby

Posted on August 10, 2015 by Julie-Ann Baumer

It was another “fill it to the brim” weekend in Maine.  For me, the 48 hours (more or less) begins on Friday at around 4:00 p.m. when I go to my farm share.  It’s a peaceful way to begin the weekend, sorting through locally grown organic eggplants, string beans, and kale.  Sometimes I take Handy along, and sometimes I don’t.  Depends on his schedule.  I might stop and visit my parents and share some of the farm “take” with them.  If Friday night had a sound, it might be the “sssssss…..” of air leaking out of a tire.

But by Saturday morning, I’ve taken a deep breath and I’m ready to hit the accelerator hard.  Get to the dump by dump by 7:00 a.m., race around town running errands, work in the gardens, visit with my brother or whomever else stops by; a generally busy vibe.

This week, my spur of the moment suggestion was the Topsham Fair, what with it being “agricultural fair season” here in Maine.

I hadn’t been to the Topsham Fair since I was a little girl, riding on the Tilt-a-Whirl with my father.  I had heard a few radio commercials for the fair and I knew there was a “Demolition Derby” on Saturday night.

Demolition Derby?  Isn’t that an episode of Happy Days where Fonzie gets hurt in a demolition derby and has a romance with Pinky Tuscadero?  Sure, something like that in the Tee Vee show’s fourth season, just prior to the fifth when Fonzie and the whole show “jumped the shark.”  Some have argued that the show jumped the shark earlier…

The demolition derby at the Topsham Fair was kind of like an episode of Happy Days with tattoos and i-phones; I was intrigued and fascinated by the event.  You can read more about the history of these popular fair events here.

Demolition DerbyWhat is it about the revving engines, the swirling dust, and the crashing cars that is so exciting?  I could wax poetic, I suppose, and make some grand metaphor about life.  How about:

For sure, it’s better to watch a car wreck than to be one.

I promise, I’ll write about more serious topics in the future.  Things like the foolishness of presidential debates and whatever other silly thing is trending on Facebook.

For right now, all I can think about is finding another demolition derby.

File this one under “Monday’s wreckage.”

Posted in Weather and Seasons | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Another Blog Post about Flowers, Shooting Stars, and Things that Screech in the Night

Posted on August 7, 2015 by Julie-Ann Baumer

I was scrolling through the old Facebook feed the other day and learned about an acquaintance recently recognized for trailblazing accomplishment with a prestigious award.  That’s how it sounded from the article and my editor from the Sun Journal would have liked the piece because it included a lot of quotes from the award recipient.  Knowing the project this acquaintance had spearheaded and accomplished, the award was well-deserved.

But you know how it is when someone wins something.  There is happiness and joy for the winner and then the aching self-reflection and introspection begins.  Have I done any trailblazing this year?  Who have I helped?  What have I accomplished?  The Moxie Recipe Contest was fun, but it wasn’t exactly the way I wanted it to be.  I still can’t speak French fluently.  I didn’t even start my tomatoes from seed this year and I only just staked them up in the garden a week ago after I got a “lecture” from Uncle Bob.

I haven’t saved the old Worumbo Mill from further decay and I haven’t painted my upstairs bedrooms yet.

My lawn needs to be mowed again, too.  I guess I’ll be blazing a trail around the yard this weekend, pushing my old mower and hoping Handy isn’t too busy to do some weed whacking in the areas that are too steep for the mower.

These thoughts and many others vied for my mental attention all week and I finally broke down and took a walk around town last night.  My usual walk, but in reverse.  I walked over past my parents’ house and then slipped through Uncle Bob’s dark garden.  As I tiptoed through the corn, I heard him driving off in his truck.  Thursday night, he must be going to “The Club.”

I trudged the big loop around the old high school, up North Street, across Free Street and then up High Street.  I schlepped over to my Surprise Garden and then started climbing Maple Street.  When I was about halfway towards “The Tomb” I heard a strange screaming sound.  I tried unsuccessfully to record it with my phone.  I can’t even describe it adequately.

I know there are deer in the woods around the cemetery.  I’ve seen them and I’ve even heard them “snort” when they see me watching them.  Do deer make noises like they’re being murdered?  Maybe there were zombies on the loose.  My curious self wanted to keep walking towards the noise but then I thought better of the idea and retraced my path around the Surprise Garden.

For a number of reasons, I was sad and disappointed with myself as I walked towards home.  Not being able to walk my usual “complete” circle was the least of my worries.  As I approached the house, I heard rustlings and snapping branches in the woods and wondered if the deer who like to eat my flowers were going to jump out of the trees and cross my path.

Isn’t it good luck if a deer runs in front of you while a tear runs down your cheek?  Wait, no.  I’m getting my lucky charms all mixed up.  It’s good luck if a bird craps on your head; I’m not interested in that kind of voodoo.

I looked up at the stars and planets and wondered if that orange dot was Jupiter.

Then a shooting star blazed across the space between the leaves in the grand oak tree in the backyard.

All’s right with the world.

I’ve got to go and deadhead my morning glories now and start the day.  Who knows what Friday will reveal?

China Blue Morning GloryI wouldn’t mind a few more surprises like this one today.

Posted in Friday Pillow Talk | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

A Very “Glad” Morning

Posted on August 6, 2015 by Julie-Ann Baumer

I’ve never planted gladiolus before.  I’ve been watching them all summer, intrigued by their slow and deliberate progress.

GladsThey’re like flowers on flowers.  I’m “glad” I planted them.

Posted in Minimalist | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Vacationland Hangover

Posted on August 3, 2015 by Julie-Ann Baumer

Why don’t I have a category of blog posts called “Living in Maine?”  I should, shouldn’t I?

I woke up this morning to the most glorious summer day ever, an archetypal August day which fulfills all expectations for loveliness.  Zero humidity.  Unfortunately, I woke up with a “spike through my temple” headache, likely from too much lobster, too much picnic, too much sun, too much glorious time in the garden, too much Wyeth-esque scenery, and too much affectionate laughter with family and friends.

The only thing I did not get enough of, apparently, was coffee.  Coffee, like cigarettes, is addictive and the correct dosing of it is something I should not take lightly.  Thus, the Golden August Spike in my temple and the late blog posting.  We’ll leave “overcoming coffee addiction” for another day, a less glorious one.

First SunflowerLike a sunflower…

Posted in Abundance, Weather and Seasons | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Friday Flip Flop

Posted on July 31, 2015 by Julie-Ann Baumer

I’m on the hunt for a story; a food story, not a foot story.  Yet it did seem important to have the correct footwear before striking out on the hunt.  I haven’t painted my toenails yet and that’s why it’s only a “demi-foot photo.”

Flip Flop Festival FootwearI hope I can finish my pedicure in the car.

The last time I went to the Rockland Lobster Festival, I was about 28 years old.  It was a good time, with an awesome parade, very Americana.  I’m heading up today for the “Cooking Contest” and I won’t be there for the parade, which is traditionally held on Saturday.

I’ve “played tourist” a lot this summer.  I hope no one mistakes me for a tourist.

May Day May DayI’m writing this early in the morning, as I always do and I’ve got to admit I’m a little bit tired.  Shocker.  I hope I can get my festival “moxie” on.  Yesterday was difficult; I got some discouraging news during the course of the day.  You know how it is when someone betrays your trust.  It’s like a steel-toed boot right in the stomach.  So I just had to work through it.  Work through it.  That’s what I said.  Work through it.  I listened to a lot of 80’s music while processing the situation and it’s possible that Squeeze, Joe Jackson, and The Housemartins had a deleterious effect on the end of the day and my ability to sleep soundly last night.

It is what it is, to use an expression about as tired as I.

I’ve got nothing today.  But how about a recipe for “Mom’s May Day Salad?”  I found it in a box of old letters from my friend Sherry. Let’s call it “Fake it in Your Flip Flops Salad” instead, what with it being the last day of July and all.

Fake it in Your Flip Flops Salad

2 cups of cottage cheese
1 container of Cool Whip
2 cups of drained fruit cocktail
2 ½ cups drained crushed pineapple
1- 3 oz. package of lime Jello
1 – 3 oz. package of lemon Jello
½ cup chopped nuts

Mix cottage cheese with dry Jello; add drained fruits and nuts.  Fold in Cool Whip and chill.

The notes I wrote on the recipe were “I love it!  It’s so ‘50’s!  I hope Mr. X likes it some day!”

Mr. X…good grief…but that’s another story for another day.

Posted in Friday Pillow Talk | Tagged | 3 Comments

The Iron Ghosts of Detroit

Posted on July 30, 2015 by Julie-Ann Baumer

Life is interesting on the street level.  Especially when I don’t have my transponder, er, smart phone attached to my eyeball.

Concept CarSwing low, sweet chariot…

Posted in Minimalist | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on The Iron Ghosts of Detroit

Shout Till The Rafters Ring

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Julie-Ann Baumer

I’m no meteorologist, but it seems like we are in some strange and unsettled weather pattern here in Maine.  One day will be fair and hot; the next day is cloudy and cool.  Then the humidity rolls in until a thunderstorm breaks through.  There was a funnel cloud seen here in Lisbon Falls, too, at the same time it was a beautiful day in another part of town.  But like I said, I’m no meteorologist.

I was holding my breath Saturday, wondering how I should dress for the “Night at the Light” concert at Portland Head Light.  My Moxie BFF Gina Mason invited me to go before the Festival.  It was a treat to spend time with her and not talk about Moxie, except that we did talk about it from time to time and we also brought some of our festival paraphernalia and a small cooler full of the distinctively different beverage just in case we had an opportunity to promote the event and the beverage.  Always Be Promoting Moxie is our motto, or ABPM for short.

Naturally, after we set up our “picnic spot,” a lady said “they still make Moxie?”

Well…

That is always the perfect entrée to give a spiel which might start out like this:

“As a matter of fact they do and it’s better than you might have remembered it from the days when you first tasted it.  Can I pour you some?”

Out comes the stylish orange and blue can and an orange solo cup.

In less than 5 minutes, we had half a dozen concert-goers enjoying the beverage before the Portland Symphony Orchestra took the stage and conductor Robert Moody was called “to the pit.”

It was a little chilly at the Headlight, almost as though the concert was taking place inside a fog bubble.  But it didn’t matter.  The program of music was lovely and diverse.  There was a nod to true symphonic music with Haydn and Prokofiev.  There was “movie music” like the Star Wars and Chariots of Fire themes.  It rousing, to say the least.

But what caused a little stir in my heart as I looked over the program was the third from the last song.  The Maine Stein Song!

Stein SongAccording to Wikipedia, “hundreds of colleges have fight songs, some of which are over a century old.”  The Maine Stein Song is well-known among such anthems; you can read more about it here.

I went to the University of Maine and maybe that’s why I love the Stein Song so much.  It’s all wrapped up in youthful memories of football and beer and hockey games and friends.  Whenever a Maine team would score a goal, there would be the trademark introductory toots, serving as the cue for everyone to stand and start clapping.  If you knew the words to the song, you sang along.  A fight song couldn’t have a better ending than “the college of our hearts always.”

It’s been a while since I’ve been up to the college of my heart always and I waited anxiously as the orchestra played through their scheduled songs.  The assistant conductor introduced the anthem and said we were welcome to clap along and sing the words if we remembered them.  Then the orchestra began and about a third of the audience of 5,000 rose on the old familiar cue and I stood with them.

Stand and drink a toast once again…

These days, most of my toasts are made with Moxie and that’s not a bad thing.  Thank goodness for memories and music and Moxie and Maine.  Indeed, the way life should be.

Posted in Weather and Seasons | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Shout Till The Rafters Ring

Friday “P” Talk

Posted on July 24, 2015 by Julie-Ann Baumer

My brother thinks he’s written more about Moxie than any Mainer.  He’s probably right; after all, he wrote two books on the subject plus countless newspaper articles and blog posts.  And he’s been blogging since the writing medium was invented, so top that, you lurkers who p*ss around the edges of the internet with your pseudonyms and snark attacks.

My own personal Moxie canon is like the last pea on the plate after a 72 ounce steak challenge at The Big Texan or Saylors.  I’m not complaining; I’m “just sayin.’”

But when it comes to peas, it’s possible that I myself have penned a prolific number of posts.  While I may be no Gregor Mendel, I’ve written a lot about the jolly green vegetable.  Blog spammers continue to enjoy my many pea posts, along with the still-regularly spammed post “The Robber Barons of Rumford.”  Go figure.

(SEO, SEO!)

First there was “Peace Trellis.”

In retrospect to my current pea production, all I can say is “no wonder Uncle Bob laughed at me.”

Then there is the quaint “Oh, Snap.”

And “Peas in the Garden,” which could have been subtitled “Peas Perdu” or “Remembrance of Peas Past.”

This summer’s pea harvest has been very good and Uncle Bob says he’s never seen peas as crazy tall as the ones I planted this year.  Man, we had to jigger up some outlandish stakes and strings to hold those puppies up!  Sure, Uncle Bob might say it’s a lot of work and why not just buy peas in a can?  They’re cheaper, right?  But every time I see him, he tells me he’s been “nibblin” at the peas and it makes me smile.

Not sure what old Handy thinks about peas, but I’ve put him to work picking and shelling them quite a bit since Moxie ended.  I set him up with a Pabst Blue Ribbon and a straw at the kitchen bar and he goes to town.  Peas to you and your house, Handy.

I love peas.  I love planting them, I love watching them pea shoot out of the spring soil, and I love watching their tender tendrils climbing the various trellising Uncle Bob sets up.  I love the pea flowers and the early edible pea pods.  I haven’t even written about the peas I planted here at my house.

The only thing I don’t like about peas is that dumb*ss expression “easy peasy.” (Excuse my French.)

Who made that up?

Probably some pea brain who never once planted, tended, staked, or shelled a pea.

What…EVER!

PeasFile this post under “Friday Fatigue Flashback” and remember…keep your eye on the pea holder.

Posted in Friday Pillow Talk | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Friday “P” Talk