It’s Comical

Yesterday, I stopped by Uncle Bob’s to tell him about a fallen tree on the road to The Farm.  The wind blew the tree down and it was laying directly across the road.  Apparently I was the THIRD person to tell him, so he has been duly notified.  He’ll throw a chainsaw in the back of the truck the next time he heads over.

He was watching football on Tee Vee, but during a commercial break, he told me a funny story about my sunflowers.

Uncle Bob said he has observed squirrels climbing my sunflower stalks, many of which are over ten feet high.  He said the rodents will climb to the top of the sunflower and then start swinging the stalk back and forth until it snaps off.  When the sunflower head falls to the ground, the banquet begins with a small mob of squirrels devouring the sunflower seeds.

“It’s comical,” Uncle Bob said.

I’m sure it is.

One of my friends, Hilda Taylor, has long been involved in rescuing urban feral felines.  Recently, she’s added urban squirrels to the mix; she’s like St. Francis of Assisi. 

At home, we have a lot of oak trees and the squirrels take good care of themselves.  I’ve never seen one in a road splat nor have I seen one in need of rescue.  They’re quite a nuisance at my parents’ house, to be perfectly honest.  I’m glad I’ve been able to aid the well-being of the local squirrel population with my sunflowers.

It keeps Uncle Bob out of trouble and I’ve got one less thing to worry about.     

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Buffalo

My father takes notes. He writes them on the back of recycled envelopes. This one was from last week.

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Here we go, Patriots, here we go!

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A Giant Mess

I went to an estate sale at home last weekend.  It was on a familiar family street, one I’d walked down a thousand times.  Old sofas and Tee Vees lined the driveway and were spilling out of the porch.  The liquidation company handling the sale was delinquent in marking things; there were piles of stuff in the driveway, in the garage, and in the house.  According to the “liquidation coordinator” the house would be cleaned out and “on the market” in three days.

Given the scope of somebody else’s sentimental carnage, I imagined a giant dumpster would arrive and the piles of stuff would be fork-lifted from their temporary rest to their final deposition in a landfill.  In 100 million years, it won’t matter.

Today, it mattered and the house was wide open and it was the quiet of late afternoon.  I walked about undisturbed.  I opened closets, peeked down cellar stairs, and looked out windows.  I could see the past and old friends walking down the street.  I climbed the stairs to the second floor.

Each empty bedroom had a big pile of stuff in the middle of the room.  It looked like someone had raced in, dumped the contents of any desk or bureau, and just left a mountain of pictures, books, sheets, and knitted afghans.  It shocked my orderly sensibilities.

In one room, there was a pile of old pictures.  I stuck a few in my pocket; regular readers of this blog know I’m a bit morbid about old memories and old stuff.

Until I was forty or so, I didn’t think much about my roots.  My mother’s family was French-Canadian and my father’s family was German.  In my mind, Germany was a monolithic country of people eating sauerkraut, drinking beer, and speaking strong multi-syllabic words like umweltverschmutzung.

The truth is much different.

Now, I think about these roots all the time and I try to piece together the old photographs with dates and things I can confirm from history.  I want to know who I am and where I came from and I’d like to leave it in a neat and orderly pile.  I don’t want someone like me pawing through a mound of my old tube socks, college papers, and photographs when they bury me under my father’s Hackmatack tree.

I’d better get my papers in order.

Memento Mori.

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Biscuit Lane

I pass this sign every day on my way to and from work.

I’ve wondered about Love Lane before; I’ve explored the romantic road in the Jeep, but as far as I could tell there was nothing particularly passionate about it.  It’s just a name.

It reminds me of something an old Texas farmer once told me:

“You can call yourself a biscuit and crawl into the oven and that does not make you a biscuit.”

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Sealing it Up

When we were very little and our house on Woodland Avenue was newly built, our driveway was dirt.  In those days, people built their houses little by little.  Paving the driveway was a luxury that would come in time.

In time, Herman saved up the money and had the driveway paved.

It’s been fine all these years and every other year, Herman applies driveway sealer to spiff it up.  Like all things as they get older, driveways require maintenance.  “Driveway Sealing Assistant” is one of my biennial summer jobs at Motel Four.

Last summer, Herman and Helen made an executive decision to have the driveway re-paved.  They contracted with a local, family owned paving company and a crew of suntanned and shirtless men arrived and magically created a new driveway in a day.

The new driveway is my father’s particular pride and joy.  A broom to sweep the acorns was no longer sufficient; he bought a leaf blower.  A daily ritual began and as much as I protest, Herman makes his own tiny contribution to our long slow ride down Hubbert’s peak.

A sale at the Aubuchon and the biennial year signaled sealing season a few weeks ago.  My mother called me on Friday to remind me “you need to help your father seal the driveway this weekend.”

I was late arriving, but I jumped right into it with an old paintbrush, “trimming” the edges of the driveway while Herman applied the larger quantities of sealer with a tool that resembled a flat broom.

For some reason, sealing the driveway was hard work this summer and I noticed my father was pretty laid back about it.  He’s eighty, after all, and slowing down a little.  We ran out of sealer and he left me alone trimming while he went up to the Aubuchon.  Left to my own devices, I thought about my good fortune.  Here I was, able to spend a whole morning with my father.

Even though we didn’t talk much, the time was the important thing.

I thought about a hiking trip my parents took a few years ago; they went to Mount Battie, in Camden, and hiked to the summit.  It gets a little muddy and steep, but the view from the top is glorious.  It’s one of those places people will drive like jerks to visit because Mount Battie and all of Penobscot Bay are the way scenic vistas should be.

I quizzed my parents about their hike a few weeks after they returned and my father said “that will be the last time I climb Mount Battie.”

As people get older, they say grave things like this.  I wasn’t prepared for it, though, and it made me nervous inside.  I get all teary and anxious and I think about the possible day I say good-bye to my father forever.  Usually, I push that thought into the farthest corner of my mind and imagine my own demise instead.

As I stood in the hot driveway waiting for my father to come back from the Aubuchon, the teary and anxious feeling crept up and I feared my father might say “this is the last time I’ll seal the driveway.”

Fortunately, at that moment, Herman drove around the corner in his little Mazda truck, grinding the gears and carrying another bucket of sealer.  I wiped that tear from the corner of my eye.

We got back to work.

We finished the job and nothing was said about “last times” and “final sealings.”  Herman and I were both lame when we finished.  I didn’t tell my parents, but I was lame for more than two weeks.  If I live to be eighty, I hope I can still seal the driveway.  .

Work is good.  Honor your parents if you can.

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The Tree Ballet

One of my friends is a vocational expert. We talk about work and jobs and one day we were discussing custodians. He said “oh, that’s laborious, unskilled work.” He means no disrespect; he was just stating facts as the Department of Labor have categorized them. When I’m in a public bathroom, I’m glad there is an “unskilled” man or woman keeping things tidy. If I see the “unskilled” person, I treat them with respect and dignity and I speak to them.

I don’t understand why someone hasn’t figured out how to keep public bathrooms neat and clean without the labor of unskilled men and women, but when I stop at the travel centers on the Maine Turnpike, I can see that this particular progressive invention has not landed on our shores yet. Apparently, public bathroom users themselves have not figured out how to be “neat and clean” in using the facilities, but that’s a completely different blog post.

This weekend, one of our Woodland Avenue neighbors had a giant oak tree cut down. My father measured the stump after they were done; it was over thirty inches across.

The tree crew started the job on Saturday and finished late Sunday afternoon. From our lawn chairs, we had excellent seats for the performance. It was part ballet and part high-wire act. It’s mesmerizing to watch a man with spikes in his boots and a chainsaw on his belt climb a tree and go to work.

Is the work of a “Climbing Arborist” considered laborious, unskilled work? It doesn’t require a college education or an advanced degree. No keyboard strokes or special apps are necessary and no junk bonds are sawed and chipped into AAA exotic bonds.

If I say all work has dignity, do I include the high-finance banker alongside the high-wire climbing arborist? Does all work have dignity?

I don’t have those answers today; I’m just a working stiff with sore muscles from pulling tomato plants.

My thoughts about Labor Day haven’t changed from last year.

My brother had some thoughts about Labor Day.

It’s raining, so I’ll be working inside today. Some of it will be laborious, unskilled work like cleaning my bathroom and mending ripped pants. I might move some digitized paper money around in my checking account and then I’ll write an article for my alumni newsletter, voluntarily.

Labor on.

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September’s Cognitive Dissonance

This sign confused me.

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Buy direct from a farmer whose hand you can shake.

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The Long Distance Spectacle

As some blog readers might recall from yesterday’s post, SK and I went to Gillette Stadium last night to watch the New England Patriots defeat the New York Giants, 28 – 20.  The stadium is equidistant from Boston and Providence, about twenty miles one way or the other.  The distance from my starting point, Portsmouth, NH, is ninety three miles.

It’s a long haul, but the prospect of seeing some of my favorite Patriots up close was irresistible.  Would Tom Brady play?  Would Bill Belichick be wearing his trademark hoodie and pushing his bangs out of his eyes?

SK comes from a different part of New Hampshire, so we found an intersection on the highway, about halfway to the stadium, and carpooled.  SK is an excellent driver and good company.  It was all football talk until we got to Foxboro and parked in one of the many “pop up parking lots” that surround Gillette.  We put in a mile of walking and arrived at our destination.  While we had both been to the stadium for other events, neither of us had been there for a Patriots’ game and I was overwhelmed by the spectacle.

We were wanded at the gate and our NFL-approved plastic bags examined.  We cleared security and began the march around the stadium.  There are giant televisions, loud music, and hawkers selling $11 cans of Corona.  Our seats were very good (thanks, Slim) and we were able to hang around field side while both teams practiced.

Tom Brady’s dimple and dreamy new haircut appeared on the Jumbo-tron and SK whistled “Holy Hotness.”

It’s true, he looked great.

I was distracted by the spectacle, especially The End Zone Militia.  These Revolutionary War re-enactors fire off their muskets at different points in the game, including every time the Patriots score.  One member, the leader, looked a little bit like images I’ve seen of Samuel Adams.  I wonder how they got those muskets to fit in their 12” by 12” by 6” clear plastic bags?

Once the game started, SK was focused on the action and made intelligent and strategic football remarks.  I vacillated between Revolutionary War thoughts and absolutely absurd comments like “Wow, Ryan Mallett is really tall” and “Tim Tebow is short.”

My recurrent Rainman comment was “I really like Bill Belichick’s short hair this season.”

I think I was overstimulated by my four dollar M&M’s.

We snuck out a little early, to beat traffic.  Reggie Black called and we put him on speakerphone for his Tim Tebow Discourse.  He didn’t mention Bill Belichick’s haircut and neither did I.

Going to a New England Patriots game was a fascinating long distance spectacle; it was exciting and energizing.  Who will make the final roster?  The announcement is imminent.

I probably won’t be going to any regular season games this year.  It will be Herman the German and me watching from the Motel Four Tee Vee.  I need to improve my football chat, though, because I don’t think Herman really cares about Bill Belichick’s new haircut.

Good luck, Tim Tebow.  I’m rooting for you.

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Trying to Get the Football Feeling

My friend Slim’s family has Patriots’ season tickets.  She must know I’ve been in a sports funk lately because she offered me the tickets for tonight’s pre-season game.

I’m going with Gwynsmum.

This might be just what I need to get my Tom Brady laser-like focus back.  I sure hope so. 

Go Pats.

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Back to School Again

Public schools in New Hampshire began this week.  From what I can observe, it’s not a full week of classes.  But the traffic patterns have changed and school buses are in the mix now.

Getting the children to school is “big” business.

Plan accordingly.

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